A D’var Torah for Parshat Ki Tisa by Rabbi Malkah Binah Klein
The God of Exodus has a temper. So does Moses. Their anger puts the entire project of creating a sacred community at risk. In this week’s parshah, Ki Tisa, the Israelites become impatient while awaiting Moses’ return from talking with God on Mount Sinai. They don’t know what has become of Moses, who has been away for over a month with no communication. There is no internet or cell phone service, or even postal service. The Israelites don’t know whether their leader is dead or alive. In this context, they create a new, tangible focus for worship: the golden calf.
God becomes enraged and shares with Moses, who is with God up on the mountain, a desire to destroy this stiff-necked people, saying, “Let Me be, that My anger may blaze forth against them and that I may destroy them, and make of you a great nation.” (Exodus 32:10) God has an impulse similar to the one that led to the world-destroying flood of Noah’s generation. Yet, this time, Moses is present and able to intervene and quell the fury, talking God off the ledge, reminding God of what destroying the people would do for God’s reputation among the Egyptians, and also reminding God of the covenant with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.
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When Moses descends the mountain, approaches the camp, and sees with his own eyes the calf and the dancing, he himself becomes enraged and hurls from his hands the tablets that had been inscribed by God, shattering them at the foot of the mountain. He then recruits the Levites to take their swords and slaughter some 3,000 people in the camp. Only then does he return to God to seek forgiveness for the people, which does not come for those who sinned, as God sends a plague upon the people. God then proclaims that an angel will go in the midst of the people, for as God says, “if I were to go in your midst for one moment, I would destroy you.” (Exodus 33:3)
I wonder how the story would have unfolded if God had been curious rather than furious, and if when Moses came down from the mountain and witnessed the dancing, he had been able to pause and observe, noticing the feelings arising and waiting to respond until his anger had quieted down. Was it reasonable to expect these newly freed slaves, who were just beginning to experiment with their sense of autonomy, to simply wait patiently for Moses to return?
Effectively building relationships and advocating for justice begins with our awareness of the attitude and emotional energy we bring to each interaction. What kinds of expectations do we hold for others? When do we let our anger undermine progress in the justice organizations in which we serve? When do we unknowingly allow our anger to push others away? Anger is a powerful force for separation. As one of my favorite parenting books teaches, “Every time you are angry at another human being, that person hears you say only four words: I don’t love you.” (Real Love in Parenting, Greg Baer, p. 59)
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Psychologist Dan Gottlieb suggests a different set of four words that could change the world: “Tell me your story.” As Gottlieb writes, “These four words could have an impact on everything from global conflict to personal well-being. All we have to do is ask others to tell us their stories and then be quiet. While you are listening, try to imagine what it would be like — and how you would feel — if it were your story.” (“Tell Me Your Story”, by Dan Gottlieb) What if Moses had refrained from shattering the tablets and rather waited for the party to wind down? The next day, he could have called the people together to hear from them, with open heart, how they were doing and what happened while he was away, and then to share what he had learned and experienced on the mountain with God, including the special tablets he had received. 
While refraining from anger and listening well tend not to be the stories told in the news, they are important midot – attributes – for building trusted connections and coalitions. In fact, not long after the golden calf incident, Moses carves new tablets and returns to Mount Sinai (Exodus 34:4). God comes down in a cloud and describes Godself as compassionate, gracious, and slow to anger. If God can learn to be slow to anger, so can we.
Rabbi Malkah Binah Klein (thrivingspirit.org) is a spiritual leader who supports individuals and communities to find meaning and purpose in these challenging times through her prayer leading, activism, teaching, Hebrew chanting, and spiritual direction work.