Dear little me,
I remember it like it was yesterday: We were sitting in the fitting room together, looking into the mirror. “I don’t want this dress,” we said to our mom in frustration. “It doesn’t fit right.” “I don’t like the sleeves.” Finally, the classic: “It’s just too blue.” This led to the inevitable meltdown, ending with the familiar line: “Why can’t I wear a suit like Adam (my brother)!” This moment must have felt so intense! No agency over what you got to wear or who you got to be.
We are living in a terrifying moment to be trans in America. As we watch legislation after legislation trying to take away our rights, I want you to know that moment shopping can be a crucial learning experience for you. In a society where so many want to take away your rights and agency, how you choose to look, present, and dress is liberatory. It is life-affirming and a great gift. When those in power try to take away your rights, being your authentic self is the most revelatory thing you can do. When you grow up, you will discover this. But at this moment, it feels like no one gets you, and loving fashion may feel impossible to imagine.
Find more commentaries on Tetzaveh.
This idea is core to our teachings as Jews. In Parshat Tetzaveh, we discover that Judaism has a lot to say about clothing. Parshat Tetzaveh centers around the detailed instructions for the clothing of the Kohanim (priests), specifically the garments they are to wear while performing their sacred duties. (Exodus 28:31-43) These garments, elaborately described in the Torah, symbolize much more than mere attire. They reflect the idea that external appearances are only a surface and that there is a deeper, hidden, spiritual significance beneath them.
The Zohar (Zohar Book III, folio 152b) brings in a beautiful teaching to help us understand the power of clothing. Garments, and by extension garments of the Kohanim are not just physical garments; they are symbolic of the layers of meaning within the Torah itself. Just as the Torah is clothed in stories (the “garments”) that might appear as the primary content to those who are not deeply engaged, so too the Kohanim‘s clothing is a visible symbol of the divine presence and holiness. Yet, its deeper spiritual significance lies beyond the physical appearance. The Zohar’s teaching emphasizes that the “garments” (the external stories) are not the essence of the Torah itself, but rather a means to connect us with the deeper “soul” of the Torah. The commandments (the “body”) are the actions we are called to perform, but the true soul of the Torah lies beneath — accessible only to those who look beyond the surface.
The Kohanim’s garments in Tetzaveh represent this idea — they are the visible manifestation of a deeper spiritual reality. The garments were meant to elevate the priests spiritually. In the same way, the stories and commandments of the Torah serve as a bridge to the deeper truths contained within it. In both the Zohar’s words and Parshat Tetzaveh’s, there is a focus on looking beyond the surface. For the Kohanim, their garments are necessary for them to perform their duties and connect with the divine, just as the external stories and commandments of the Torah serve to lead us to a deeper understanding of God’s will and presence in the world. Thus, both the garments of the Kohanim and the stories of the Torah are not ends in themselves, but means to access deeper layers of spiritual truth. They teach us that the essence of holiness and wisdom is found beneath the surface, in the soul of the Torah, or in the souls of the wearers of clothing.
Find more commentaries on LGBTQ Rights.
This is what it means to be trans: to know that the rich tapestries we choose to show externally are reflective of so many of the gifts we bring to the world. When those in power see only the surface, they miss us — our souls and the richness that we are.
In Berachot 28a, Rabban Gamliel teaches that one whose insides do not match their outsides is not fit to learn Torah or enter the beit midrash (house of study). You have the gift of connecting your insides and outsides. It may feel like a terrifying and lonely journey, but you are not alone. You walk in a lineage of amazing trans ancestors who have entered the holy beit midrash of being trans.
So, to my younger self, it feels horrible to say this: I can’t tell you with confidence that it will get better. What I can say is that you can grow into you. Your resolve, resilience, and authenticity ensure that transness stays alive for the next generation. You walk through doors and will continue to open them just by being you, and that is revolutionary and holy work!
Rabbi Jenna Shaw (they/them) is the associate director of Israel campaigns and education at T’ruah. They were ordained in 2023 from the Rabbinical School of Hebrew College in Newton, MA.