Commentary on Parshat Toldot (Genesis 25:19 – 28:9)
This week’s Torah portion, Toldot, tells the story of twin brothers who were labeled from the moment they were born, and the consequences have reverberated throughout our history. Jacob, the heel-grabbing younger brother who tried to prevent his sibling from emerging from the womb first was the “smart one”. Rabbinic tradition describes him as an “ish tam,” mild mannered and quiet, who loved to chill out in his tent and study Torah. (But realistically, how much Torah was there to study at this point in history?)
Esau, born “red and hairy,” was the impulsive wild one, the hunter who acted on his instincts without thinking about the consequences, and who also had “a taste for game.” His base nature and supposedly less-than-stellar IQ made it that much easier for him to be tricked out of both his birthright and the blessing of the first born.
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Esau also earned the dubious distinction of being the first one to marry out of the faith, causing his parents great angst. Rebecca remarks in Genesis 27:46, “If Jacob takes a wife of the daughters of Heth, such as these, of the daughters of the land (aka Esau’s wives), what good shall my life do me?” In true soap opera fashion, Esau overhears her lament and swiftly tries to ameliorate the situation by marrying his cousin.
Is it possible that this parental revelation was news him? Unless Esau was a mind reader (and it sounds like he wasn’t much of a reader of books, let alone minds), how was he supposed to know that Hittites were off limits? Perhaps it just wasn’t a priority to set the marriage ground rules for Esau, because Rebecca knew that he wasn’t going to become the next family patriarch anyway.
Is it possible that Esau could’ve become the leader of the clan if both he and his brother weren’t categorized so quickly? Yes, his impulsiveness contributed to him losing his birthright, but from the time he emerged from the womb he was thought of as physically powerful but emotionally immature and intellectually lacking. He was the strong one, and Jacob was the smart one. He was the hunter. Jacob was the leader. In his powerful dvar Torah entitled “Challenging the Binary is the Best Way to Answer Esau’s Cry,” Noah Fitzgerel, a legislative assistant at the Religious Action Center of Reform Judaism (RAC), states, “This portion is replete with contrasts and binaries…..a brother either serves or rules; it is all or nothing.”
Find more Torah from T’ruah commentaries on Parshat Toldot here.
We live in a world that is becoming increasingly polarized. We often make assumptions about, and pass judgment on, others based on first glance. This is especially true when it comes to the gender binary, as Fitzgerel notes:
The gender binary divides conceptions of gender into the categories of “man” and “woman,” and organizes expectations around gender that are often based on the sex assigned at birth…these expectations help set the tone for the discrimination and violence transgender and gender non-conforming people face every day.
Until recently, I don’t think I’d ever used the word “binary” in a sentence, and now, it’s a regular part of my vocabulary. Our third child, Preston (age 25), identified as “non-binary” (neither male nor female) before ultimately beginning his transition from female to male a little over a year ago. Despite the fact that he has supportive family and friends, it’s been a difficult journey, made even more challenging by the 100 anti- LGBTQ bills introduced in this country in 2017 alone. Although Preston has a strong Jewish identity, he has witnessed how others have used religion to justify their rejection of him, or to perpetrate acts of violence against other minorities.
The second week of November is Transgender Awareness Week, and it’s important to acknowledge because there are over 1.4 million adults — approximately 0.6 percent of the U.S. population — who identify as transgender in America. Their needs and challenges are often overlooked, or even deliberately ignored. In 2015, the National Center for Transgender Equality conducted the largest survey examining the experiences of transgender people in the United States, with 27,715 respondents from all 50 states,W ashington DC, American Samoa, Guam, Puerto Rico, and U.S. military bases overseas. According to the survey, “respondents reported high levels of mistreatment, harassment, and violence in every aspect of life.” One third were living in poverty, had trouble communicating with or receiving service from their health care provider, and/or were harassed in public spaces, including public restrooms. And to make the problem even worse, the federal government now wants to publish new rules that would eliminate “transgender” as a category altogether.
Our tradition demands that we not stand idly by in the face of this blatant human rights violation. We can ask our local school boards if they are taking proactive action to welcome transgender students and to protect them from discrimination and harassment. We can request that our congressional representatives co-sponsor the Equality Act. Current civil rights laws extend legal protection to people on the basis of race, color, national origin, sex, disability and religion, but not on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity. The Equality Act, with 241 original co-sponsors, would extend those same anti-discrimination measures to the LGBTQ community. According to the Human Rights Campaign, it had, “the most congressional support that any piece of pro-LGBTQ legislation has received upon introduction.” That’s encouraging to hear, but the last action on this bill took place on June 2, 2017, when the House Committee on the Judiciary referred it to the Subcommittee on the Constitution and Civil Justice. It’s obviously still a work in progress.
Even though we are taught that Jacob and Esau’s roles were predestined, I wonder how much hurt might have been avoided if their seemingly well-intentioned parents weren’t so quick to fit them into standardized binary categories. From birth, they were both groomed to fit into the roles that had been assigned to them. Labels belong on packages, not people; let’s not use them to make assumptions about who we are or what we can ultimately contribute to this world.
Cantor Sheri Allen serves Congregation Beth Shalom in Arlington, Texas, and is a Vitas Healthcare Chaplain for the Jewish Community in Ft. Worth and Tarrant County